Bali Beyond Myself: How Travelling as a Couple Shifted My Experience

Bali Beyond Myself: How Travelling as a Couple Shifted My Experience

Monday, 9 December 2024

I've written a lot about solo travel. Between the backpacking adventure, moving to the other side of the world on a whim and my mum having a meltdown every time I say I'm going to go on holiday alone, it's defined so much of the past seven years of my life and taught me a lot about both myself, and the world I live in. 

I love to travel solo, it's a part of who I am but now I’m lucky enough to have someone to join me on some of my trips; and it is an entirely different experience when he does. 

Bali wasn’t just my adventure this time; it was ours. I've been forwards and backwards a lot in the last few years but this time felt like I was discovering it all over again. 

Travelling with my boyfriend was different to being there alone. It wasn't compromises as such; just adjustments I was happy to make. It was a fresh take but I loved every moment of it. 

One of the first things I noticed was the need to consider someone else’s preferences at every turn. Normally, I’m up with the sun, but when I woke up 6 hours before he did on our first morning I didn't really know what to do with myself. I became aware that I couldn't (shouldn't) get up and go for breakfast at 5 am if I'm jet lagged like I have done in the past - so I grabbed my journal and tried to make sense of it all in the morning sunshine. 

Otherwise, it was more of a good thing. I enjoyed having someone to discuss where to go for dinner with; and checking if he wanted to go the the spa at 10 am or 11 am wasn't exactly a huge problem. 

The only time it did bother me was when I felt bad for changing plans - which was through no fault of his - but something I do very often when I'm solo. I had booked a cliff side hotel, like Rock n Reef because I know he loved being by the ocean. I just so happened to forget how anxious the stairs made me feel last time until we arrived again. 

Usually I only have myself to consider so I would have bolted asap but I knew he liked it there so I didn't react as quickly. After the second anxiety attack however, I made the call to move hotels a day early. I felt guilty for prioritising myself, but decided it was the right thing to do because my reaction was so strong, it would have ruined the next two days for the both of us. 

One thing I did miss, was the motorbike taxis. He wasn't keen, so we got cars everywhere but that was nothing in comparison to the good things being with my boyfriend brought. 

Travelling with someone else gave me the opportunity to enjoy things I’d previously avoided. 

Staying in Air BnB's, wandering around after dark, and even drinking alcohol was suddenly safe in a way that never was when I was travelling alone, and that was something I really appreciated.

I also really enjoyed seeing Bali through Dan’s eyes. Watching him try my favourite foods, seeing him in awe of the spa I'd booked in the middle of the jungle and sharing some very unique accommodation  made everything feel fresh again. 

This trip really reinforced how I feel about the importance of our connection. We're a few months into our relationship now and having time together, away from the calls of every day life was my favourite part of being in Bali together. The deep conversations, memorable moments and shared happy memories were a daily occurrence that sadly we just don't have time for when we're at home.

It wasn’t always easy to let go of some of my solo habits, but it was worth it for the time we spent together. Bali will always hold a special place in my heart, but this time, it’s not just because of the hotels, the food, or the long lazy afternoons, it’s because I had someone to share it with.

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Moving Out, Moving On

Moving Out, Moving On

Tuesday, 5 November 2024

My last post mentioned I've been living in Chiswick for a few weeks but until this weekend, that wasn't the full story. 

On Sunday, I gave my notice and picked up the last of my stuff from my room in Wandsworth. 

It's a happy story, I'm moving in with my boyfriend and that, I'm very excited about, but closing the front door for the last time caused some totally unexpected emotions.

Leaving the house, I cried. I know I was unbelievably sad when I was living there, but that room was my safe space, away from the world and everyone else.

I moved in with my mum's help; and Charlie, my plant. Mum agreed to take the tube, but as soon as we reached the station, she decided one flight of stairs was one flight too many and insisted we get an Uber across London. I remember driving past the Shard with Charlie by my feet.

Within ten minutes of arriving, we almost smashed the window. The room was so small that moving my single bed meant pushing it halfway through the old, wooden frame. We unpacked my suitcase, went for lunch, and then she left. That evening, I built up the strength to end a relationship I had been trying to escape for six months, that is why I moved in the first place after all.

After that, I didn't know what to do with myself. For the first three nights, I ordered Too Good to Go bags because I didn’t know how to put a meal together.

I never really got the hang of that. Instead, I built a life so busy that I was never home for dinner anyway.

For the first six months or so, I had the most magical summer. I’d work from a little desk with the window wide open and the sunlight streaming from the south-facing garden. It was boiling that year. Even isolating with COVID wasn’t too bad, I’d spend hours on my single bed with my legs hanging out of the window enjoying the sun.

I experienced real friendship for the first time that summer and with the whatsapp chat going 24/7, my room is where we built it. I loved getting ready for a night out in the tiny space I had, in front of the cheapest mirror I could find, with my music playing as loud as I wanted. 

Being so close to the nightlife meant I was able to afford an uber home. I felt like a joy like no other ubering home, drunk and content, waiting for Deliveroo to bring KFC after a night of chaos at Northcote Records with the girls. Excitedly dragging myself out of bed the next morning for brunch.

In those three years on Haldon Road, I grew up. I learned to look after myself and to figure things out. I now know how to use a washing machine.

But after a wild, single, summer with the girls, I was cold, we all were, and I was lonely, worried that it was going to be like this forever. I felt like I was just waiting for life to begin.

Trying to run away from the sadness, I started going out every single night, finding any excuse I could do not have to shower at home because it was too cold. 

I went from very happy, to very sad but I was always relieved to come back; it just meant I needed to exercise for 20 minutes before got into bed in the winter.

After exhausting myself all week, I’d seek refuge on Sundays, going to bed at 4pm. During the week, I’d sit there and cry my heart out, day after day, at precisely 10:15 am, just after I'd taken my work break to write in my diary. I learned a lot about myself in that time, but I think I healed huge parts of myself too.

I recovered from the breakup, received life - changing medical news, booked holidays on a whim and heard that my granddad had two weeks to live - all on that bed in my little room in Wandsworth.

The winters were brutal, especially the first one. I had to pull out my summer duvet because even my winter one wasn’t warm enough on its own. I wrapped myself in two dressing gowns at a time and wore the boots I’d taken to a snowy wedding in Norway around the house just to keep warm whilst I worked.

My mum suggested a hot water bottle, but I didn’t even understand the concept. How blessed I was to have never been that cold. She bought me one for Christmas, and it changed my life.

And candles. When it was cold, those little flames kept me company on miserable, dark days working from my room. But they remind me of happy times too - the nights when I finally started feeling content with staying in on my own. Getting into bed, lighting a candle, and watching the sun go down through the open window. And every time I blew one out, I made a wish.

The dressing gowns, blankets, and snow boots that kept me warm when I couldn’t afford to turn the heating on, I don’t need anymore, because those candles made my wish come true. And now I’m in a place where everything just feels right. My life is different now. I’m happy again.

Looking back, that time in my life was so unbelievably miserable, yet it was such an important phase. 

I moved in with one suitcase and left with two cars full. 

I moved in scared, but I moved out confident that no matter what, I can look after myself. 

I moved in single, and out in a relationship with someone I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with.

I built my life there. I built myself there. I’m a much more well-rounded, confident, and capable person than the girl who moved in three years ago.

So, an ode to my little room in Wandsworth. Thank you for everything.

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My experience making new friends as an adult in London

My experience making new friends as an adult in London

Tuesday, 15 October 2024

Making new friends in London is tough hey.

I've just moved to a different part of town and I don't know anyone. Again. My old friends are long gone and whilst I still have people dotted around, it's not helpful for last minute dinners or popping out and sharing a bottle of wine after a hard day.

But this isn’t the first time I’ve been in this position, so where do I start?

The same place I started last time. The internet. 

I’ve done it before, and I will do it again. At least this time, I have some direction and some motivation because I know it works. Facebook groups are the answer. Bumble BFF has also worked in the past, as has just going up to someone I thought might be interesting, in a bar but Facebook is my go to. 

There are thousands of other girls, like me, in these groups looking for people to hang out and build a connection with and this knowledge has changed my approach to making new friends. It’s no longer an impossible task, just one that will take a bit of effort in return for a big reward.

I've been in Chiswick for six weeks now and am very proud of myself. I’ve been proactive and arranged two group dinners (this is great because I get to pick the restaurant and explore the new area at the same time) and a few one-on-one outings and slowly but surely I am coming across people who I think I would like to be friends with.

It’s hard at the beginning because I don’t want to sit around making small talk, I want to have friends I can talk to in depth, about stupid things, intense feelings, emotions and opinions, good, bad & ridiculous, about people and things that are happening in my life, and vice versa. 

Whilst it’s always a little frustrating in the beginning, you can’t rush the process. Building real friendships take time, effort and lots of shared experiences - plus getting to know someone in the process, is fun in itself!

It's a very odd situation to be in and I can only compare it to dating. It's exciting but also scary. Did they like me? Do I want to see them again? Should I text first?!

And as well as being scary, it's hard work. You have to put in a lot of effort to make friends from nothing. Sometimes you can’t be bothered to explain who XY&Z is, or sometimes its raining and you just want to stay in bed. But staying in bed isn’t good for me and not having friends isn’t good for my mental health.

Because life in London is hard enough without having people you care about to offload on and share it with.

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Exploring Dubrovnik

Exploring Dubrovnik

Monday, 24 June 2024

After a late arrival the night before, Dubrovnik welcomed us with warm temperatures. We had been out for some drinks but luckily, most of my friends are also morning people, prompting an early start to our day of exploration.

The Airbnb had arranged for breakfast at a quaint cafe in the Old Town, so we sat eating out eggs and orange juice in serenity before the arrival of cruise ship crowds and tour groups. One of the biggest perks of starting early in Dubrovnik.

After breakfast, we continued our wanderings around the old town. Picking up a later arrival and an ice cream on the way.

The Old Town was very interesting to explore, offering picturesque views and historic charm. It was a little bit otherworldly.

We followed a path which led us to an archway, one of the old town gates that opened to the water, outside the old city walls. There was a port, lined with cute restaurants and though there was no beach, like many others, we spent a blissful couple of hours lounging on the rocks by the water. 

The boys swam while the girls and I relaxed on the rocks. I felt like a siren.

In the afternoon, we headed back to our Airbnb for a quick shower and change before setting out again.

Our destination was a charming bar and restaurant adorned with vines and pretty pink flowers. Despite the staff's slightly grumpy demeanour, the beauty of the location made it a perfect spot for pre-dinner drinks.

Dinner that night was back by the harbour, naturally featuring seafood and wine.

Then back to our wandering, we stumbled across an abandoned bar carved into the cliffside. People has brought their own chairs, drinks, music so we grabbed some drinks from the shop and settled in for the sunset.

The following day we booked a boat tour, which turned out to be quite a memorable adventure. It started having mistakenly boarded the wrong transfer and found ourselves on someone else's boat, complete with skipper and a bar stocked full of champagne. 

Everyone involved was very confused but after a bit of back and forth, we soon found our boat.

After a quick explanation of how to drive it, we loaded it with our own supplies and set off in search of a beach. Despite the mix-up, the day turned out to be one of my favorite travel experiences. I often travel alone, but this day made me truly appreciate having my friends with me on holiday. 

Being by the water always brings me such happiness, and spending eight hours on a small boat in the sunshine with them was all kinds of wonderful. The sea was a beautiful colour, the music, the snacks. Perfect. Even with a few other mishaps along the way.

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One night at Rock n Reef, Uluwatu

One night at Rock n Reef, Uluwatu

Wednesday, 8 May 2024

Uluwatu was a part of Bali I’d not explored until recently so  I thought it was worth a visit this time around. Known for its stunning cliffsides, I knew I wanted to spend some time at one of the beach front hotels there although adamant I wanted somewhere that wasn’t a big resort; something small, unique, boutique. I ended up using Google Maps to see what lined the beach and soon came across Rock n Reef. It ticked all my boxes.

As I learned from my BBQ on the beach a couple of days prior, getting from the top, down to the beach in Uluwatu is no easy feat. The paths are steep and rocky, often leading through abandoned sites with no idea where they are going to end up. I had to trust Google Maps more than once this trip, but as I got closer to the beach and passed through a small door, suddenly I found myself in the safe haven of the reception area. And relax.

I had booked a room called "Sunset," and it was perfect. Open plan with a bed on one side and an open stone shower on the other. I unbolted the doors and swung them both wide open onto the balcony overlooking the ocean. It had a straw roof and a hammock and was pretty magical. 

As soon as I walked in, I knew I wanted to stay an extra night, but of course, it was fully booked; unsurprisingly so. 

After a couple of hours listening to the waves from the hammock, I started getting hungry so headed downstairs and grabbed a sunbed as the evening drew in. There were only three or four beds, and they were all empty so I had the area to myself. 

I actually wasn’t planning to eat there, but there was no way I was going to bother with the stairs more often than absolutely necessary, so I ordered a plate of fried rice (and dessert, of course) and dined at what felt like my own private, beachside restaurant.

I retreated to my room just in time to shoot some golden hour content before settling in to watch the sunset from the hammock. Very pleased I'd chose the sunset room over the sunrise one, the sky turned orange as the day faded into night.

Once it got dark, I laid inside with the doors open, listening to the sound of the waves until I fell asleep.

I woke up early the next day as the morning light flooded in. After spending most of the morning lazing around on the hammock, I got up for breakfast served on the balcony. A very nostalgic banana pancake circa 2017 baby backpacking Georgina, accompanied by tropical fruits and honey, tea and fresh pineapple juice.

With the tide out for a couple of hours, I grabbed my chance to take a walk alone the private beach. It was totally empty apart from one woman selling bracelets who I couldn't say no to. I finished my exploring with just enough time to shower off the sand and take one last hour in the hammock.

After checking out, I was planning to hang around in the communal area for a little bit longer, but the idea of tackling the stairs again was playing on my mind so I couldn't relax and ended up heading out for lunch pretty soon after. Despite that, I would 100% recommend this amazing hotel. It provided me with such a special experience, that I will never forget.

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